Getting married to yourself sounds bizarre. For the influencer Cris Galêra, there is no narcissism or a lack of potential relationship partners behind this step. Your message is very different.
For many people, their own wedding is one of the most important days in life and should usher in a new phase of life. Ideally, the bond with the partner lasts forever. The Brazilian model Cris Galêra has also sworn eternal loyalty to the most important person in her life in Sao Paulo: namely herself.
The influencer has around 175,000 subscribers on Instagram, to whom she gives insights into her everyday model life. All the more surprising for her Instagram community that the 33-year-old suddenly posted a photo of herself in her wedding dress and announced: “ I said ‘yes’! “Because before that, the influencer hadn’t made any suggestion that she was in a relationship.
The Brazilian explains how the wedding came about
However, the text next to her post enlightened her subscribers. You have joined the sologamy movement. This relationship model includes people who set themselves the goal of marrying themselves or only having a relationship with themselves. Sometimes these people also refer to themselves as autosexual.
Galêra also explains that this step is to celebrate their self-love and inspire other women to increase their self-esteem. She adds ironically:
“I WON’T GET A DIVORCE ANYTIME SOON.”
Your fans are very positive about the move. In addition to the many congratulations, she also received dozens of declarations of love including plans to marry. However, she will certainly not accept these offers anytime soon. After all, the model is already taken to herself, she jokes.
The ceremony is symbolic
Because even if Galêra poses in front of a church in a white dress with a bridal bouquet, the vow to her is not legally binding. In Brazil, too, only two people are allowed to enter into a marriage covenant. Marriage for everyone has existed there since 2013. In Germany, too, supporters of sologamy cannot officially marry themselves and have to resort to a free marriage.
Nevertheless, the influencer is not alone. Her compatriot, the top model Adriana Lima, already said yes to herself in May 2017.
The first to deal scientifically with auto-sexuality or auto-eroticism was the sexologist Haverlock Ellis, who established in his work “Studies in the Psychology of Sex” as early as 1897 that there are people who can only fulfill their sexuality through themselves. Even then, he dared to predict that auto-sexuality will increase.
But is that true – will more and more people marry themselves?
Dr. Heinz-Jürgen Voss, Professor of Sexology and Sexual Education at the Merseburg University of Applied Sciences, sees it in a more differentiated way, as he explains in an interview . Nowadays it is true that society is generally more open about the topic of sexuality. Ten years ago, sexual orientation and self-determination apart from the heteronormative, monogamous form of relationship were largely taboo.
But at the same time there are more and more diverse views on these topics and new discourses automatically arise. However, this sometimes leads to contradictions:
IT CURRENTLY APPEARS TO BE PARTICULARLY PARADOXICAL THAT IDENTITIES AND CATEGORIES ARE EMPHASIZED MORE STRONGLY WITH THE NAMING OF INDIVIDUAL NEEDS. BUT THAT SEEMS TO ME TO BE A TRANSITION PHASE.
There are no official figures on how many of these self-weddings take place or have taken place so far, as the connection is not legally binding. What is striking in this context, however, is that almost exclusively women are associated with autosexuality or sologamy – or they openly report about it.
Sologamy as a modern act of liberation
That doesn’t seem particularly surprising. After all, traditional role models still dominate in our society. A man who sees himself in a clearly male gender identity defines himself from the outset by factors such as success and a strong, independent demeanor, according to Voss:
IT IS SIMPLY NOT NOTICEABLE WHEN A MAN IS FOCUSED ON HIMSELF AND WANTS TO ADVANCE IN HIS CAREER. IF, ON THE OTHER HAND, A WOMAN DECLARES THAT SHE CAN DO WITHOUT A PARTNER, IT CAUSES AN OUTCRY.